Friday, August 13, 2010

"ChapTer FouR: HellO JaCoB"


HaPpy B-Day...
Odio hacer esto así, y odio decir las mismas boberías que todo el mundo siempre te dice cuando cumples 1 año más de vida...presta atención porque me gusta sentarme a escribir con dedicación, y perdón si me excedo de sinceridad, pero me gusta ser real...
Siempre he tratado de mantener 4 deseos por los cuales pedir, y trato de que al menos 3 de ellos no se concentren en mi egoísmo si es que existe en mi corazón. Ellos persisten en mi mente aunque no tenga en cuenta la duración de ese "siempre"
1-...Deseo la más bella y simple felicidad (la que es duradera) para todos aquellos puros de corazón y que lo merecen.
No seas esceptico si consigues ver a nadie verdaderamente feliz...faith can take u anywhere, as long as u OWN it.
2-....
3-....
4-...(los otros 3 deseos le pertenecen a mi silencio)
Tú, increíblemente, eres una de esas raras especies en extinción a los que llamo "reales de corazón". Así que estás en mi lista. Y para tí, que llegue esa felicidad...como sea que la prefieras, pero que sea tuya.
No está de más decir que eres demasiado testarudo y a veces me dan ganas de ahorcarte, pero te quiero, por eso me preocupas y me lastimas. Trata de soltarte un poco, no le tengas tanto miedo a ser sincero cuando de amor se trata...eso es algo k sé, pork así me lo ha enseñado Jesús en mis escasos años de experiencia mas no de entendimiento.

Recuerda que el camino es pesado si quieres llegar a la sabiduría, pero es, simplemente, mucho más interesante que cualquier otro éxito que quieras alcanzar, porque conlleva paz espiritual.
Sé que no es tan fácil confiar, pero confía.
Y definitivamente no sé cómo ves el mundo, pero yo, desearía que tu pudieras verlo de la manera que yo lo veo...de verdad que es maravilloso...
Deseo que encuentres a alguien sincera para merecerte, amarte y no lastimarte, y eso es la mayor parte de la felicidad:Amor.

Tu alma vale oro, jamás dudes de eso, porque Dios te ama justamente por como eres.
Felicidades por hoy, por ayer y por mañana; por otro año de tu vida en el que aprenderás un poquito más de lo que pensabas que ya sabías, y nuevas experiencias que a lo mejor no habrás querido tener, pero que vale la lección. El futuro será tu espejo que reflejará lo aprendido.

Haz que todos tus días sean tu fiesta, porque nunca sabes cuando termiarán. Cada año sigue siendo cada año, pero toma en cuenta que nunca se repite. Así que no desperdicies el tiempo y pido para que en el mundo hayan más personas como tú (pero menos testarudas y orgullosas ;p).
Te quiero porque decir amor es muy único para decirlo tan despreocupadamente y Te amo, porque Dios quiere que amemos sin temor. (Olvídate de los conceptos y sé libre x un momento)
Aprecio mucho tu compañía ;)......HaPpy B-Day again.

Love, Dary♥


...i hate cliches btw...

posted by *{♥}Dary{♥}♪* @ 8:55 AM   0 Comments

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

" HeRe We Go AgaIn "


Oh wow, long time no see....
well, just to say that i miss writing here. I guess i was a little busy but i gotta release chapter four, haven't forgotten, for what ppl care right? well, i do this for me so...i guess gotta continue.
Ohmm, i don't know, its been soooooo much since the last time i wrote here with tears in my eyes, it was like a freedom to me, u know, to put all those things out every time i could and then feel better.
Anyways, i'll be working on it before i'm gone again & hopefully it won't be too depressive :p
I don't wanna seem like i'm all over crying all the time, is not like that, it is a little more complicated than that...an inside thing that hurts, a kind of hurt u don't ever get used to but still need somehow.

See u then guys.


Love, Dary♥

posted by *{♥}Dary{♥}♪* @ 8:00 PM   0 Comments

Thursday, July 30, 2009

It's Not a ¨ChapTer FouR¨ iT's 1 More ¨DeluSion¨


Here is where everything gets ugly...again- One more reason to turn us appart...
Between all the lies & the disappointment, I have to be strong. And that's why we need God in our lives, because without him there's no hope, nor a life. Now I am completely recover of the desperateness but days ago I wasn't this fine. I guess it doesn't worth the try to talk about the delusion I got. It is ok, it actually made me feel good because I know the game has just begun, and now is when delusions & disappointments are going to come. I'm ready!.

Now, I´m trying to focus on the good I can do & not so much about the bad things I can't vanish in life.

We're more surrounded by evil people than what I imagined. It's like for every 2 people that have a pure heart and want to do good, there are 10 trying to put them down....I mean, what?? What is this?? What kind of world we are freaking creating!?Well, whatever I guess, that's all I can say. I'll just pray to God to see if I can make that babies stop borning if they're gonna become psycos in the future! What about that!

The point is, I'm not desperate, I've faith as I always say, so I believe and wait with patience. But when I hear that kind of things where people kill each other for envy, that just takes all my mood down to the floor. And all I can do to help is to wish goodwill & not become one of them.

So let's finish with this discorded chapter because I'm not in the mood to write so...bye & good luck to everyone.

¨Life is just life itself, even when we don't know what it really means. What we do in it, is what we should care about, because there's a place, where all that we do, is payed back...¨


Love, Dary♥

posted by *{♥}Dary{♥}♪* @ 11:56 AM   0 Comments

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

BefoRe The Next one...

It's been a long time since the last time I wrote...I guess I wasn't needing it so much as before but it's always good to sit down and write a little to get the mind cleared off.
I actually miss it, I hate to know that people I don't even know read this because I do it to myself, for me, like a personal diary and for Daly cause she's the "trusted one"....and she's ok! not sick!!--Daly I knew it from my heart not because I actually knew it...--
So anyways, I just wanted to say that before writting the next chapter I'm only saying this, no more, because I'm waiting, I'm letting things go their own ways and see what happens.
I want to finally bring a little good news to the chapter 4th, and want to do it right--Bring the muse--...
So, that's it by now, I'm excited about this weekend but nervous too cause i gotta make some difficult desicions but...nothing's impossible;)

See ya!


Love, Dary♥

posted by *{♥}Dary{♥}♪* @ 5:29 PM   2 Comments

Thursday, April 30, 2009

¨ChapTer Three¨


I've been wasting my Time around. I don't feel like doing anything while I'm having a bunch of things in my head. I hate to be this kind of lazy but mm...I just don't feel like doing anything...

Again, I want to cry still but I'm trying to keep my tears to myself. Actually right now I'm holding back.

April's almost gone. Tomorrow will be a new month, as it is every year. And ending May-beginnig June, it'll be officially one year waiting. It's almost Time and it is weird to think about it like that: ¨almost a year waiting¨. It is so weird because I've been thinking all this time about only one thing, about being with him...about him. He's caught my entire attention, my ilusions, my heart for all this time. It's weird to think that I haven't forgotten about him not one single day; I have kept him in my mind every minute of the day during a year, and still do, strongly.

¨Te falta menos que ayer¨

I can't, I just can't begin a day without having him in my mind. I can't. It'd feel like living without God. My two favorite men who I go to bed without and wake up for.

I'm so quiet...I love silence...

I'm not feeling impatient. I don't know anymore. This is the first time I can't identify if I'm stressed or not. Actually, I feel like in peace inside, pretty confident but really sad though. I don't know. I'm sort of lost, that's all I can say, I don't even know what to do, where to go or where to look. I don't know. I want to be alone. I want to sleep two days without waking up but I can hardly close my eyes at night. I feel tired but peaceful.

And please, I don't want to be asked or to talk about what's going on because I DON'T KNOW.

I want everything ¨to go back to a normality I've never had¨, to a life I'm wishing and only have dreamed.

I'm missing him so bad. I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't to not suffer but it's like if I'd ask the birds to stop singing, or to live without breathing, or the sea to stop being blue. It is something I can't avoid because he's part of me and I'm part of him. We belong to each other somehow.
Love doesn't offer any chances or choices nor options. I just miss him and that's it. There's no other way than deal with the sorrow. I'm in love, I can't avoid it, that's normal. It is not his fault, nor mine nor anyone's. Is like when you can't sleep thinking about that real special person you love and you feel so many butterflies in your stomach that you almost throw up. You don't feel hunger nor pain...you're just happy, you feel great.It's definitely the best feeling. That's what happens when u fall in Love. That's what love's made of. It is about missing each other so painfully that you think you can't see another tomorrow without him or her. Loving this way is hard but it worths more than anything else in the world, so I rather take the risk.

I'm missing a warmness I've never felt; I'm missing a skin I've never touched; I'm missing a kiss I've never been given: I'm missing him, who I've never met.

He dreams about me. He feels me and touches me but I don't. I wish I could be there, in his dreams, I wish I could feel him too and wake up the next day knowing that we both were in the same dream. That we both felt the same and we both were the same ones as we're in real life.

I want him to be the last person I fall in Love with and the only one to spend my life with, in an endless boulevard of love.


How tomorrow is gonna be? I can't tell. Where my life goes? I can decide. Who my Love is? I already know. What kind of person I want to be? Myself. What do I have to keep in mind? Be focus. Which advice should I take? The one that helps. What kind of friends should I have? Real ones. How can I improve as a human? Following Jesus. What should I do with my time? Treasure it. What should I never do? Get lost. What should I never lose? Faith. What is life filled with? Questions. What do we find in life? Answers. What we can't know? Everything. What we shouldn't ask God? Why. Should anyone tell me what to do? No. What do I really want? Happiness. What should I do to succeed? Work hard.Why to sacrifice? To succeed. Who should I cry for? Who worths it. How happiness comes to you? Alone. How do I learn to be patient? Waiting. What should I keep in my heart? Kindness. Whatelse? Hope. Whatelse? Wishes. Whatelse? Love. What should I wish to everyone? Goodwill. Who wouldn't disappoint me? I don't know. Who knows me better than myself? God. Who always listens? God. Who should I always Trust? God. Who I pray to? God. Who takes the decisions in my life? I do. Who makes bad choices? Anyone. Who's perfect? No one. What makes life so beautiful? Imperfections.What other questions can I ask? None. What other answers should I know? Many but the rest is in my hands.


Love, Dary♥

posted by *{♥}Dary{♥}♪* @ 1:01 PM   0 Comments

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

¨ChapTer Two¨


Now I gotta say, I've been crying since yesterday, the whole day.

I was at school this morning and almost give up on what my tears were claiming for, but I said: ¨hey, you've got to be happy, today is a very special day for ur very closest friend, it is Daly's birthday! you cannot be like that for her...¨

I was really sorry because I tried really hard to put a smile on my face. I could only look very tired and sleepy. It took me the entire day, almost going back home before I could smile again.
I wanted her to be Happy. I mean, it is her day and she deserves everyday to be like that.
I'm sorry.

When I got home, all I did was to run towards my bedroom and pretended to sleep; I was actually sinking my pain in my tears.

Why I was crying?? For the same reason as always: I miss him...and I hate to be here...

It is really really hurtful for me to know that he spends his days crying...that makes me completely unhappy. And he usually did cry before too. He has always cried but I used to control my emotions because he was just feeling lonely and soon I was going to end it up. So I always kept myself positive. I used to send him little text messages to cheer him up, even when I was the one who didn't feel good, I wanted to show him that it was ok. I couldn't be so weak. I want him to be calmed and patient because I know how much he suffers when he's not. I want to let him know that no matter for how long we wait, we are going to speak, we're going to support each other and we'll find the way to be together...whatever it takes.

I don't want to call the attention of everyone around me of course, so I try to be alone most of the time, because I know what they'd ask:¨what is wrong with you?¨,they usually do, and I always say to myself: ¨No, is just that I can't be with the love of my life, the only reason to be alive, so I feel like my heart is breaking into many little pieces and the pain is not letting me breathe. Ah! and I miss him so much that sometimes I feel like I wanna go to sleep and never wake up again so I don't have to deal with the affliction.¨ But instead of that I say: ¨Nothing, I'm just sleepy¨ and give them a fake smile.
I have no idea whatelse to say.

The misery I feel in my heart is not letting me live...

So these are the reasons of my unstoppable crying... I really really don't want to be crying as there's no tomorrow but I also don't know what to do. Is the only way to calm the desperation down a little.

I miss him :( I miss him so much. It's getting more painful everyday. No matter how many times I think: ¨Oh my God! we're finnally gonna speak!!¨, the moment never comes. It seems like it goes away instead. I'm not even tired, I'm already beyond that. I don't know what to do. I'm dying to know anything ANYTHING about him!

*People don't believe in Fairytales but what they ignore is that some of us live for it. The ilusion keeps the hope alive, and the Hope maintains the heart beating. For some of us, Fairytales is all we've got left to still believe and to still wait. Because I believe in true love, and I believe in pain before happiness. And I believe in fighting for what I want and for who I love. Because of fairytales, I believe in Loyalty and I believe in Heaven...

So for some of us there's not much, but there's enough to remain in silence and wait...even if it takes too long.
In fact, we have nothing else to wait for. What I'm waiting for, I know is my Happiness. I'm waiting for him so my life can actually begin, because to me, what I have now, is not a life.

I'm full of blessings nevertheless, I can't ask for anything more. God has heard my most precious wish.
As a contradiction, I completely hate spending time with my family, but I always give thanks for it because at least I have one. I feel like I don't belong here though. I feel so uncomfortable around them. That's the main reason I get so desperate. I don't see the hour to get out of here...

No matter how wealthy or how many things I have, there's only one thing that really matters to me: Love...to have truly real Love.

I have everything but Love. So I don't have anything at all.
I'm loveless, I'm empty.
And I'm waiting for that to change...I love him.


Love, Dary♥

posted by *{♥}Dary{♥}♪* @ 2:13 PM   0 Comments

Sunday, April 26, 2009

¨The Book¨


Chapter one:

I'm feeling kind of frustrated in part...things aren't as fine as I thought they'd be by this hour...
Thanks to that little puppy that is making our lives impossible. As I always say, that doesn't even scare me at all. It is history, it is a fact, it is true that Good always wins, so i guess there's no reason to worry about. She won't get what she wants because she's poor in soul and rich in money, wich isn't a good combination.

I'm not worried about what a stupid psycho girl wants to do to me or to him. I can scare her ten times better than she's doing, but that's not my thing. She's just making the chapters of this book I call my life more interesting.

I don't like to hate ppl, I don't believe hitting someone is the answer to find peace, but right now i'm really reconsidering that...

I'm getting more and more pissed everyday. I'm not losing patience though. She's making us pissed, but we can't let that happen because that's what she wants. It's like when u try and try and try so hard for something and u work ur ass off to get it right and when u think ur gonna get it...u have to start it all over again because someone put a trick in the way. That pisses a lot.

I'm in a situation that I don't know what to do. Everything I feel i'm able to do is to wait...and taking count of I'm not feeling right, I don't think that is absolutely enough.
One of the worst feelings a human being can feel is feeling Lost...that's how I feel now. I'm Lost but confident in my heart. Weird ah?

Yeah, is like I don't feel right about what's happening now but I believe everything's going to be ok. Like when someone u love tells u to close ur eyes and walk u don't know where. You r scared but u do it anyways because u trust and because u know that person will always protect u and won't hurt u. Like that.

I don't know how there are ppl around the world doing and undoing things as if they made it. Doing bad things to others. People hurting people and laughing at it. Letting those evil feelings take over them. Why does it have to be like that?

We all want things but not all deserve them or we just can't get them because they don't belong to us, so why?? Why fighting for something that is not mine?? Why hurting someone by taking something loved out of his hands?? Why hurt??

U guys can't imagine how desperate I am. I'm dying to scream his name and finally let the world know who this heart belongs to. I wish, I deeply wish with all my soul to be ready when the time gets and to finnally live my life happily ever by his side.

These are the pages of my own life I'm writing with an ink I call tears. And the pain that breaks my heart is when someone tries to cleave the pages along with the happiness I would have wrote on them...
As a baby, I fall. As a person, I make mistakes. As an idiot, I get lost. As common people, I want to be Happy. As a writer, I have a pencil and an eraser or maybe just the Delete key of my computer to erase the little grammar mistakes I may commit in my novel; but as a human, I only have a pen without a liquidpaper and multiples pages I can't turn back. As a creature of God, I have the right to be strong, stand up and learn how to walk foward without regreting my falls. And as myself, I have the right to be myself. 'Cause that's just a little part of living and living it's what's left in my road. Noone but me can decide the final chapter where I can find what I've been fighting so hard for and noone can take that away from me. These are my mistreated pages I'm trying to fix up. And I'll do it right.

*Original phrase:
¨Un lápiz con borra o la tecla Delete de un computador serían suficientes para enmendar los pequeños errores en el borrador de una novela, pero en la obra de la vida real sólo existe un bolígrafo sin liquidpaper y páginas rayadas que no viran hacia atrás¨.
Dariela Mariot.
Love, Dary♥

posted by *{♥}Dary{♥}♪* @ 4:28 PM   0 Comments

 


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